Stay puff doesn't hold a candle to me!

2003-03-13 - 10:23 a.m.

I'm suddenly very fat.

Okay, not very fat. But I'm growing at an alarming rate! All those new 'skinny' jeans I bought in November, yeah, they don't fit me anymore. They did this weekend. I wore a pair on Sunday. By Monday, it was a pipe dream, and I was wearing overalls. For the past 3 days I've been wearing fat jeans (well, okay, so a year ago, these were my 'skinny' jeans, but we've since switched perspective). I've been wearing the same pair of jeans, and they're getting tighter and tighter as the days go on.

This is not good. I'm eating no more than normal, yet exercising a whole bunch more. I would blame it on increasing muscle mass, but that wouldn't make me look puffy. It would make me grow, but the layer of fluff would be thinner because it would have a bigger surface area to cover, thereby giving it less jiggle room instead of more.

So I don't know quite what is wrong with me. If this keeps up, I'm going to weight nearly 200 pounds by the time I get home. I'll be busting out of my fattest of clothing, and will have to wear only elastic waisted athletic pants and baggy T shirts because that is all that will fit me.

It could be because I'm sick. Maybe I'm retaining water all over my body. Does that happen? Well, I know it does, I've seen cases where people's hands swell up. But could your arms swell as well? I suspect that my legs are also swelling, but it's hard to tell because I don't wear anything that's tight in the legs.

So if I'm fat when you all see me, please don't hold it against me or make fun of me. I can't help it!